Atop a steep cliff I hold the seeds of my pain, anger, and regret. They are heavy, and I can barely hold on, but they’ve already taken root in my palms growing quickly toward my heart. Letting them fill the void in my chest is the easiest path; however, I am scared of what they may bloom into. From up here nothing is clear and nothing is simple, but I still have a decision to make.
When I look closely at these seeds I see generations of despair and confusion coming to roost only inches from my eyes. Everything is connected, the past and present, and I understand that I am not isolated as a person. Is that supposed to help me? Realizing that I am not alone? When I look around for company, there is none, so is this companionship only and illusion? Just exactly through whose eyes am I seeing the world?
Every corner of my being tells me to hold closely to these seeds of the past, turn around, and continue down that path to the base of the summit of this mountain. There is a light, too, that tells me to step over the edge for the action of falling will remove the tendrils of these growing seeds from my body and allow me to fly over the valley before me.
Of the two people within me, who will make the decision? What will they choose? One sees the trail of darkness behind me and the other sees the light above, but they are both free to choose whichever path they’d like. I fear that one, whichever one comes to the surface, will betray their instinct and prove my theories wrong.
The unknown breaks me, and again I look at these seeds and see that their roots are the only thing holding me together.
The sun is setting over the valley, the light is fading, and a decision must be made soon. I cannot stand here atop this cliff forever.
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